Cre8tive Musings

Another peek at me...

2005-08-02T02:50:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday To Me!

2005-07-28T07:50:00.000-05:00

Here's to hoping this isn't the halfway point in my life (though I would honestly have to say... it's been a good run).

Among my most treasured accomplishments:

- I am married to the most AMAZING woman alive! My first kiss. Heck, my first everything... and NO REGRETS about it whatsoever. I love you, Adrian. You were well worth the wait.

- I have 3 awesome kids (and another soon arriving). Hannah, you are finally emerging... the most wonderful example of strength and courage (in the face of tremendous difficulty). You inspire me daily. Samara, your smile... anyone who knows you, knows that that's saying a LOT. Sammy, my one and only son; I look forward to what the years will bring us. To all of you, I promise that I will work hard to earn the title of "dad."

- I've seen so much of the world by doing what I love

- I'm finally not afraid of dying. Not for a second. I am confident that God is better than any collection of humans (past, present, and future combined) can possibly imagine.

It's not a long list, but these are what matter most. Thanks to everyone who has been so good to me for 30 years. I look forward to many more.

Cheers!
Luke

Please pray.

2005-07-24T18:34:00.000-05:00

Adrian's heart is at it again. For those who don't know... she's pregnant. It's looking like a premature delivery is inevitable since her heart has been going CRAZY! How's 218 beats per minute sound? 90 and below is normal. Keep praying for her safety and the baby's.

For me, The real challenge right now is juggling odd jobs, kids at home, and a needy wife in the hospital. She usually winds up at St. Vincent's in Indy for extended periods of time. That's over an hour of driving one-way from home. So many directions... one nearly broken down car.

We don't just trust God right now. We depend on Him.
Please pray.
Thanks
Luke

Moving around.

2005-07-18T02:24:00.000-05:00

Daddy's Boy
It's something new that I'm doing.

My letter to the sun.

2005-07-15T08:32:00.000-05:00

Dear Sun,

I wanted to take a moment to write you today and say thanks for being what you are to me personally and to the galaxy at large. You've always been so very warm to me; a real comfort. And need I even mention your brilliance? We all know how much light you've shed on our individual problems.

I found work this week. I am driving back and forth to Indy every day to earn little money for my family. In so doing, I have been home a little less and the kids are starting to really miss me. By the time I roll in at night, they're visiting the sandman, so I have to wait until morning to get my smothering portion of adoration. That's actually part of the reason that I'm writing to you, Sun.

I have really started to notice, each new morning presents an elevated challenge as I try to pull away and hit the open road. My children are individually more upset with my departure with every passing day. This morning, Sammy may as well have ripped my heart from my chest and walked across it in golf shoes.

It's the gravity that I possess which has really made me appreciate you all the more. All of these planets and cosmic dust and undoubtedly stuff we've never heard of, constantly swarming and circling you... each one desperate for nearness. What I am finding is that the fatherhood I wield is apparently not so different from your celestial anchoring in my life. There's this profound dependency upon you that we all have at our core (monkeys and squirrels included).

Thank you, Sun. Thank you for being so good to me. Thanks for the example that you are. Thanks for being good company on those days when I am worshipped by the lesser beings.

In closing, I do have a tiny bit of advice for you that I am trying hard to implement into my life. It seems that you, much like myself, could use a little work on this. I do realize that everything has its place. I know that, in order for all of the grandeur of the spinning and orbiting and whizzing to take place, things must be just-so. Please know that I do not underestimate the importance of that structure. I respect it as much at your scale as I do at mine. But, if you can consider my words for a moment, you might find a new level of living awaits you. The next time a planet or asteroid or UFO comes running up to you for a much needed hug... maybe you can turn down the heat, let go of your precious cosmology, and embrace the chaos with a great big hug. We all know how powerful you are. We all know that you're at the center of everything that we do. Just look at us out here circling madly around you if you have any doubt. But once in a while... just every now and then... why not break protocol and allow a tiny pair of arms to wrap around you in a display of love, far more spectacular than any constellation or shooting star. I think that you'll find, burning everything that comes your way is not the only way of living after all.

It will mean giving up some power. It will mean cooling off. Heck, the whole "solar system" thing might just fall to pieces. But at least you will have known love.

Thanks for your time, Sun. Have a great day!

From the center of another galaxy,
Luke Renner

$5,450

2005-07-01T13:44:00.000-05:00

Please help.
We are presently trying to raise money to meet some of our critical upgrade needs. Please stop by FIRESIDE INTERNATIONAL and help us help the poor.

What a day.

2005-06-16T01:56:00.000-05:00

I was sitting
I was sitting in this bum-shaped chair in the hallway of an old high school building, waiting my turn. Apart from the painting they were doing in the stairwell, the joint smelled like any old high school should... dingy. My right leg was man-propped (not woman-propped) atop my left leg and my arms were folded protectively around one another and hugging close my chest.

I snickered.
It struck me as fairly amusing that I saw a little flashback of a time when I was posed quite similarly.

Memories
I was seated onstage at Carnegie Hall (yes, that one). My right leg was man-propped atop my left leg and my arms were folded protectively around one another and hugging close to my chest. About 15 feet in front of me, Paul Simon (yes, that one) was rehearsing for that night's performance. I was directing the live-to-tape video. I was probably twenty... five and a half or so.

True story. You'd never know it by looking at me. But it happened.

Bittersweet Irony
So I return from my flashback, half crying and half laughing. My heart was really broken today. The tears that stayed on deck were tears of pain... not joy. They were tears of loss... not accomplishment. The laugh was just because some things are too darn funny... painful or not... to abstain from laughing at.

I was at a food bank today. My pregnant wife and I were waiting our turn in line to get 5 plastic bags of free food. Completely humiliating. Completely harsh and REAL.

What an enormous distance it is from the stage to the floor... from the lights to the shadows.

Reality Check
My stupid story is ridiculous compared to what millions of people face on this planet, every day. Here's a video that a Haitian kid shot and gave me in November of 2004. PARTS OF THIS ARE EXTREMELY GRAPHIC! Do not watch this if you have doubts about your ability to handle it.

Just know that it happened in his neighborhood. The homes were still smoking. The flesh was still wet. This is a real world we live in... with real people... needing a real voice.

I haven't known what to do with this up 'till now. To be honest, I was hesitant to even place it here, on my blog. For starters, I know this forum will do it no justice. Secondly, it must be spread further. Finally, I do not wish to cheapen its content by turning it into a "pitch" of any kind. But then, part of what FIRESIDE INTERNATIONAL wants to do is to communicate the stories of the poor to the world. That does take resources.

Please help.
Please stop by FIRESIDE INTERNATIONAL and help us help the poor. Adrian and I gave up a lot to do this, but our sacrifice alone is not enough. We need your help too. We have become beggars for the beggars. But today, at the food bank, I learned... that actually requires a little begging. Beg if I must...

We so desperately want to fill up the schedule shooting in Haiti.
We want to tell some stories. What can you do to help us?
Without help, the vision will fail.

Sorry if this pops your comfort bubble.
I really am sorry.
Luke.

Need QUICKTIME? Donwload it free from here.

EXTRA! EXTRA!

2005-06-06T19:49:00.000-05:00

Come on over and have a look!

Fireside International's new website.

Meet Merlin Fargus...

2005-05-05T20:53:00.000-05:00

Merlin Fargus: all around swell fella and heckuva guy!

Good with the kids, good with the ladies.
Not too short. Not too tall.
Not too skinny.
Not too fat.

Not too anything really.
He's one well-rounded dude.
The kind of guy you'd take harmonica lessons from.
You know the sort; small hands, very dependable.
Level headed and trustworthy.

Unfortunately, bad things DO happen to good people. Thanks to a
faulty O2 sensor, Merlin's car lit up like the fourth of July out on Route 32 about a month after he bought it. (Don't worry, Merlin made it out alright.)

Sadly the car didn't fare so well.
Boy oh boy, you should have been there!

Nearly three weeks later, Merlin had fully resigned himself to moving on to a newer and less char-broiled mode of transport when his phone began ringing off the hook. It was Dennis, Merlin's friend; a largely unappreciated and undiscovered automotive-repair-guru.

Now, if you're keeping score, Dennis is not the sort of fellow one would aspire to be. Despite his uncanny ability to "hear" what a car is "telling him," Dennis' obsessive penchant for loose women and nut-covered caramel apples... coupled with his utter refusal to brush anything on his body, made him out to be quite an unseemly fellow on many levels. But damn, if he couldn't fix a car!

And that's just what he did.
Dennis had managed to actually get Merlin's old car running again! Oh sure, it would never feel the warm rip of asphalt beneath its tread, but the hum was undeniable as her motor shimmied in place in the protected space of Denny's mom's garage, just behind Denny's mom's house, where Denny lived... with his mom.

Merlin had to see it for himself. So he subsided to Denny's request and popped in to visit, the bag of complimentary White Castle's in tow. As Denny inhaled 13 greasy, "hamburger-ish" confections, Merlin ambled in circles around the engine with his hands clasped behind his back. It really was impressive. She sounded better than he had ever remembered.

Denny managed to push some sound through the cheesy-mush in his mouth.
"Ooo Unt Er Bath?"

Merlin slowly turned back to Dennis.
"Denny, you know I've moved on. Why would I want her back?"

I think it was a French fry that was going in when Denny shrugged back.

"Besides," Merlin continued. "can she even run outside of this garage?
Is she road-ready? Will she ever be?"

"Pwobably noth," Denny belched.

"So then," Merlin summed. "Nicely done. Very impressive. Great work!
But I'm just through with her. You've gotta understand."

Denny smiled as he placed the straw of his milkshake in the toothless hole that he seemed to have cultivated just for that reason. The sputter of a dying milkshake followed. Denny didn't mind. Merlin was impressed and that was payment enough.

Science has never been able to find the Merlin Fargus in all of us.
Don't kid yourself... science has looked.

But no organ, no tissue, no fluid seems to contain any tangible evidence of that thing in each of us that determines right from wrong, good from bad, or up from down. It's been called the unconscious observer. It's who you really are in the sense that it lasts longer than your fleshly bits ever hope to. It's the "you" who sits at the wheel of your brain or your heart and steers the vehicle you call a body into an endless possibility of directions.

There's no microscope that can find it. No chemical strip that can confirm or deny its presence. No luck at tracking it down whatsoever. In a very real sense, one might surmise that the "you" that makes you "you"... doesn't require a physical you in order to exist and be... well... YOU!

So here's a thought...

WHAT IF your Merlin Fargus...
...was as attached to your body as a driver is to his car?

WHAT IF your Merlin Fargus...
...could abandon its car if that car became less than useful?

MUST your body die before your Merlin Fargus can elect to move on and go elsewhere? Is there some mystical glue which causes our Merlin Fargus to remain attached to our bodies, even if they can only function in the vacuum of Denny's garage or by the warm sputter of a breathing machine?

IS IT POSSIBLE that Terry Schiavo's Merlin Fargus jumped ship a long time ago? That perhaps Terry Schiavo wasn't in the hospital all that long at all? Perhaps it was only her old ride, decrepit and worn out, made to last only by machines and medicines that kept her family company during those horrible years.

Last year's model.
No longer useful.
Left for scrap by the side of a road while Terry (the REAL Terry) moved forward on her eternal journey in the quest to know God.

As I think back to the babies that Adrian and I have lost to miscarriage, and then, as I gaze upon my beautiful children, tenderly sleeping in their beds tonight, I wonder...

Did we really lose anything?
Is it possible that our first child, lost to miscarriage, merely detached itself from a defective body and awaited the next viable ride that would come along? Could it be that Samara... the same Samara that we know and love and cuddle and adore... is the exact same soul that we thought we had lost?

Could it be that our first child, whom we thought we had lost, rests quietly beside us tonight... content with the body that she was finally able to arrive in?

No loss.
Only a delayed meeting perhaps.

We lost our second baby to a miscarriage a number of months ago.
This morning, we discovered that our new baby (who is doing splendidly thus far) is to be a girl. Once again I am left wondering, was our meeting only delayed by the miscarriage and did we lose anything at all?

Bodies die. The soul lives on.
Has she been waiting?
Has she finally found a way?

I cannot wait to find out!

Wisdom For Today.

2005-04-26T09:39:00.000-05:00

Art is never finished.

It is only abandoned.

I would love nothing more.

2005-04-08T00:16:00.000-05:00

I would love nothing more than to live in a cobblestone cottage on the rain-soaked outskirts of London; somewhere in a shire, where the green moss and misty air keep everything sweet and slightly wet.

There are vines where I live and a thick fog makes every path but a few feet long, step after hopeful step. We walk softly, hearing the crunch beneath our leather boots. Occasionally, I twist my heel for a bit more of that textured step. The long and hollow noise of my walking stick dragging through the grass is enough to make an angel weep; glad to be alive.

By afternoon, the fog has rolled out and the pond is dancing with reflections of the clouds above. A bird sings outside my window, on a branch that is slightly wet. The dripping patter of saturated leaves paints the air with a rhythm like no other. No man could follow it, but my spirit is dancing like never before.

It rains quite often here and that's what I love the most. As evening blows in with the crisp breeze, the bubbling song of frogs can be heard. It is the reason sound was created, a perfect use of the invisible stuff... masterfully suited to take advantage of each tone and frequency, and all with such sweet repose.

Often, I will dream of that place... that paradise.
But I will awake to encounter another.

I must save the dreaming for rest.
Right now, there is work to be done among the living.

ANOTHER VIDEO!!!

2005-04-01T22:18:00.000-05:00

"Holding Out"
My latest art... merged with the art of Lester Finn.

Need QUICKTIME? Donwload it free from here.

Dim the lights. This one's dark. Especially on a computer. Especially on Windows. Long live the Mac!

2005-03-31T20:01:00.000-05:00

"Somebody Special"
My latest art... merged with the art of Benjamin Del Shreve.

Need QUICKTIME? Donwload it free from here.

I want your HONEST opinion.

2005-03-31T19:49:00.005-05:00

"Hypocrisy"
My latest art... merged with the art of Benjamin Del Shreve.

I want you (whoever you are) to give it to me straight on this one. Don't try to flatter me or worry about hurting my feelings. The verdict is out on this and I want it to be in. What do you think about this video?

Need QUICKTIME? Donwload it free from here.

Why most of us don't matter.

2005-03-28T19:58:00.000-05:00

FEAR
What is it that you're not doing today because you are afraid?
One of our future's greatest enemies is odorless, invisible, has no taste, and cannot be contained. It does not respect our mood. It will not give in to our pleading. It is relentless and does not tire. It is FEAR.

Imagine with me...
...all of those things that you have been too crippled to undertake. Are they phone calls? Letters? Conversations? Maybe they're dreams that you've neglected to follow. Perhaps a word from your Creator that you have conveniently "put off."

The result?
Too many of us RISK NOTHING, DARE NEVER, and LIVE LITTLE.

Is it any wonder that our lives are so incredibly predictable? So mundane? So blasé? Are we really going to continue acting as though we don't know why we're rarely satisfied?

I was washing my hair in the shower today...
...and I decided to say a prayer. Adrian and I are in the midst of some MAJOR overhauls in our lives right now. I asked God for some sign... some indication... about where we are to live. For those who don't know, we're "losing" the house. I say "losing" with quotes because technically, we gave it up, the moment that we decided to RISK IT ALL on obedience to our God. We knew back then, it would come to this. We knew the price. Nonetheless, we are now in a position where we are considering whether or not we are to stay in Indiana or perhaps move abroad. So I was praying about that. Looking for a sign.

As I was preparing to leave...
...I heard a loud SLAP in our entryway. When I looked to see what it was, a piece of decor had fallen and split in two. It was a wooden carving that has rested on the threshold above our front door since we have had the house (a little over 2 and a half years). It has NEVER fallen in all of that time. It fell today.

One of the pieces was facing upward. It read, "There's no place like"
The other half of the plaque was facing downward. The only word on it was no longer visible as it kissed the entryway floor.

Possibly coincidence...
...but I'm not gonna fear the unknown this time. There'll be no gluing the placard together. There's no place like...
...complete and utter obedience... NO MATTER what it costs, NO MATTER who it mystifies, NO MATTER how bad it hurts.

HOME
"There's no place like"

And I wonder where it'll be tomorrow!
Buck up people. You're never gonna feel alive until you live a little.
Until then... it's your fault you're unimpressed and unimpressive, NOT God's.

Cheers!
Luke

Haiti Journals - PART 4 and "CONSTANTINE"

2005-03-24T08:37:00.000-05:00

Back in the saddle.
First, a journal entry. After that, retrospective on that entry, through the eyes of Hollywood.

Undated - Port Au Prince - Haiti
"...A friend of mine (who happens to be a young pastor) was driving me somewhere one day.

I had been sharing my thoughts concerning God's love with him. Among those thoughts are some that allow that maybe God will save everyone. Such thinking leaves room for the possibility that there is no "Hell" (as we now know it) while also immediately challenging the inerrancy of the Bible. It is for those reasons, a bold submission.

He shared with me a genuine interest in the possibility of such a hope, but made it very clear... he would NEVER preach that from a pulpit. Moreover, he would never personally claim to believe it.

In a sense, if "salvation for all" is true, then preaching about "Hell-fire and damnation" won't hurt you in the end... because salvation would be for all... even gruff preachers of judgment. HOWEVER, if "Hell fire and damnation" are closer to actual truth, then the idea of "salvation for all" is DEADLY!

Given these two possibilities...
...the safe bet is to stick with preaching "Hell-fire and damnation." If that theology is true, then someday you will be glad to know that you got it right. If "salvation for all" is true, then it won't ultimately matter whether you got it right or wrong.

He said that he was unwilling to preach "salvation for all" because it was too great a risk. If he was wrong... it would be curtains for himself and, very likely, many of those he mislead. Makes sense.

Tonight in Haiti,
as I listen to two little mice scamper and I write only by the light of a flickering candle... it occurs to me.

There are many other religions. Among them, many claim exclusivity. That is to say, they claim that their plan for salvation is the only correct plan for salvation. If you do not adhere to their specific teachings, then each of those religions promises damnation. Christianity, Judaism, and Islam are a few... but there are many more.

So to my pastor friend, I simply wish to point out... while I certainly respect your wish to play it safe... you are NOT playing it safe. You are already "picking" or "choosing" one religion from many, all of which claim exclusivity as one of their central tenets. You're already taking a big gamble.

That you are comfortable with it...
...that you have been raised in it, studied it longer, been changed by its truths, and seen evidence of its verity does not in any way increase the odds that you have chosen wisely.

Somewhere around the globe, millions of others rest convinced in an opposing doctrine of exclusivity. Each of those are equally (if not more) convinced of their creed than you are of yours. They too have felt the power, seen the signs, been changed by the teachings and grown comfortable in the embrace of those who share their heart space. But if your safety net... if their safety net is based in truth... then one of you is right and the rest of you are damned!

How can you call that "playing it safe?"
The determination to stick with the probability of "Hell-fire and damnation" is still (and in no uncertain terms) JUST AS RISKY as ditching it altogether. I didn't say it was wrong to believe in "Hell-fire and damnation." Instead, I simply cannot understand someone to saying that it's a "safe" way to think. Safe within Christianity perhaps. But still pretty exclusive and one-sided from a global perspective.

This post is not in any way meant to sell folks on the thought that God will save every person. Even I am still wrestling with that (quite a lot actually). But the reason most folks refuse to even "go there" is fear. The fear of damnation. Pure and simple.

This entry is only to say that, if damnation is a reality... then we ought to be afraid anyway. What if Christianity is wrong and Islam is Truth? We feel certain at our core that Christianity is Truth. So do Muslims concerning Islam. If any of us are right, then most of us are doomed... and THAT'S scary!

Confidence is no reason not to fear.
The "what if" that comes with any doctrine of exclusivity is reason enough to make all adherents to such doctrines... steeped in fear.

All I'm saying is... don't refuse to "go there" concerning the grace of God simply because the risk is too great.

YOU ARE ALREADY TAKING THAT RISK!
So fear is a weak excuse.

If we're not willing to consider God's grace for everyone... we're going to need a better reason than fear."
- End of journal entry.
Continue for closing thoughts.

Hooray For Hollywood.
I saw the film Constantine last night. It makes a pretty good case for fear. Man oh man! Who knew that just wanting to LOVE YOUR FATHER could be so hard? So risky? So complicated? So DANGEROUS!!!!

At the end of some very long days, I cannot honestly tell you where it is that I stand on many things (religious or otherwise)... but I can say this... I'm tired of being afraid. So, I'm trying not to be anymore. I'm daily growing more and more willing to take risks. Why? Because I suspect that, if God is truly a loving Father... the word "risk" has no meaning. It is a word we have crafted from a bold misunderstanding of God's character.

Only slowly am I stepping foot out of one old box and into another.
A shift in perspective.

Here's to hoping God loves His children half as much as I love mine!

Cheers!
Luke

Haiti Journals - PART 3

2005-03-23T11:19:00.000-05:00

Starry, starry night...
Anytime I am lost in the "sticks" of Haiti, I become stunned at the beauty of the night sky. The Milky Way is clearly visible. Satellites can be seen floating by overhead. This section of my journal sheds some attention on that glorious moment as it happened to mix with a startling irony.

March 8 - 2005 - My first night in the village at Thomazeau
"...I wanted to see the stars. The kids wanted to see me. So MANY lessons in there.

We build SO MUCH CRAP into our lives... the light from it literally buries the lights from Heaven.

But who are we?
We CHOOSE to do without stars.

At that same moment, the kids, standing under the same glorious sky that was mesmerizing to me, were completely ignoring it and staring straight at me.

These magical lights from Heaven are drowned out tonight by a little-ol-white-guy.

How unfortunate... for ALL of us.
How sad... that this is ALL my fault."

Haiti Journals - PART 2

2005-03-21T20:25:00.000-05:00

The saga continues...
Join me, won't you?

March 8 - 2005 - On the Airplane - Roughly Noon
"...So I am in my assigned seat, alongside Wil. This is a big plane. The international ones usually are. As I bonked my way down the aisle, toward my seat, I asked one of the flight attendants if this flight would be full. He said, "less than half."

90 people are on this flight. The craft seats 251 in coach and 16 in first class and yet, here we all are... glued to our assigned seats. Wil and I are a bit crammed. In my peripheral, I see the sprawling meadow of empty chairs; room to grow. Room to breathe. But we remain... cramped and trying to achieve contentment. It's not happening for me.

I might move pretty soon. But the doors must first seal, the plane must taxi, and we must kiss the sky. Only then will I move.

Why?

I know for certain that the seats are not going to fill. But I don't wanna make any move. Not until we're airborne.

First, I don't wanna risk the humiliation of opting for the one seat that some latecomer will demand. Second, I don't wanna waste the effort of going somewhere if I am only going to have to move. Third, I don't want to offend the person that I would leave behind.

What are we NOT doing?
It's obvious that this life of servant hood is an empty flight. It is clear that there is room to breathe and try new seats.

- Are we afraid that someone else will come along and belong there more than we?

- Are we unwilling to exert the effort if there is a chance we will have to move somewhere else at one point?

- Or are we worried about offending the one that we are presently seated next to?

By now, we are kissing the sky. The wheels are tucked away and no one else will be boarding. So get comfortable. Try a new seat. For crying out loud! Live a little.

Haiti Journals - PART 1

2005-03-20T01:34:00.000-05:00

Join me... won't you?
I wrote A LOT while I was living in villages on my recent trip to Haiti. I read a lot too. Anyway, I thought that I would share some of my journal entries with you, a little at a time.

Let's begin right now...

March 8 - 2005 - Miami International Airport - 10:58am
"...I count 12 skirt-wearing, bun-loving, holiness folk off to my left. Most of them are white as tissue though one just arrived, glowing a golden-brown. Her hair seems shorter than the others. Her clothes are more appealing and stylish. She has color. She has life. She has music about her. A tone of sorts. When she arrived, it was as though she had not seen her peers in quite some time; a reunion of sorts. Perhaps that is the case.

I wonder why they are going to Haiti? Is it to love? Is it to evangelize? Is it to indoctrinate? Is it to run from authority back home? Who could know without asking?

I sometimes wonder about we missionaries. Are we truly selfless creatures? Or are we perhaps power mongers instead? Haiti is a country that is relatively free of law. In her most rural parts, it is a potential Island Of Doctor Moreau. An American could saunter in, set up shop, feed a few people, and claim to be Christ Almighty. In Haiti, where desperation is the base experience, you could sell a lit stick of dynamite if it came with a scrap of bread. And that's nearly the gospel truth.

In this sense, if there is not a genuine passion to sweat and toil one's self into obsoletion, then perhaps the goal is more sinister. Perhaps the inner motivation is to own slaves. And we control them by what they may and may not have. And they act predictably, as desperate people do. And we yo-yo them closer... then yo-yo them further.

I don't care what a missionary tells you... we own our consorts... if only by their hope. They gladly give themselves and then... we enslave them with hope, or at least... we may.

Call a man a pagan while dangling his only hope for food in front of his face and he will repent and be baptized. He will sing in the choir. He will adopt your precious doctrines.

But let us be warned... no man can truly own another.
And if we behave as though we do... then by any of our lofty doctrines... we will be damned.

Oh and, by the way, those folks I was observing... they're apostolic in persuasion; here to hop a plane and hug orphans for a week. Pretty cool. May there be no strings attached.

Who could have known without asking?
So I asked."

Back home again in Indiana.

2005-03-19T09:33:00.000-05:00

Thanks are in order.
First of all, several of you fine folks (you know who you are) made financial contributions toward the purchase of gifts for Wil's family. A few others made contributions toward the cost of getting those gifts to his family. So to all of you, I say a great big THANK YOU. The folks who received those items were greatly blessed.

As for the rest...
I have some serious work to catch up on.
I hope to post some thoughts here later.
Prepare yourself folks!

Cheers!
Luke

Leaving on my mind.

2005-03-08T02:17:00.000-05:00

Really, I should be packing...
...but I just can't right now. In a matter of only about 3 hours, I will accompany my dear friend, Wilsage Sagesse, on a trip back to his home... in Thomazeau, Haiti. He hasn't seen his family in two years.

He just informed me...
...that he hasn't exactly told his parents that he is bringing a white friend home with him. He told them that a friend was coming... but said nothing about me being white. He was laughing like a young boy as he told me this. It is going to be his little surprise. WHAT FUN!

Then he told me...
...no white man had lived in his village for 15 years! I guess I will be breaking that stride.

This stunned me...
...but it honored me at the same time. It truly will be a magical moment when we come rolling into town. Only this year did they get electricity in Thomazeau... and only then, at night (and only then, sometimes). I'll be living right smack dab in the middle of a Haitian community. A village. A place where white men only come and then go, never smelling the night amid the huts and smoldering embers of a dying charcoal fire. I am SO EXCITED.

So I told Wilsage...
...how completely honored I am to be doing this. I shared my deepest pangs. My feelings of excitement about what lies ahead. My anticipation.

When I looked up, he was asleep. Wow. I must have really moved him with my eloquence! So that's why I'm blogging right now... to tell YOU. I am SO EXCITED.

Hey... WAKE UP!
I will fill you in when I return. Cheers!
Luke

This one's a gas!

2005-03-03T04:13:00.000-05:00

ENJOY.

Preparing To Film.

2005-02-22T16:23:00.000-05:00

It occurs to me....
...that a great film must have something to say. At the very LEAST, it must have a bold question to ask. My spirit is stirring and the difficulties of living poor are starting to mount... so I thought that perhaps now was the time to move forward with a new directive in my creative life. It's time to make a new film.

The Subject.
I think that I'm just gonna "go there."
I'm gonna speculate about the "what if" and ask the questions that each of us knows are there... but are too afraid to ask. As I ponder the late-great, Prodestant reformer Martin Luther, I begin to think about the substance of his real victory. He stoked the fire. He woke the sleeping. And then, in a bold act of heresy, he opened the floodgates of possibility for all who were willing to freely flow under its unpredictable strength.

The Goal.
The real victory is not found in some sort of tangible list of answers. The victory exists in the liberation of minds to the point of the rebirth of free and honest questioning. In other words, the value of such a film will be the provision it affords, that others might be free.

Your Help.
If you have a question that you wanna hear some people answer, send it to me in an E-mail and I will consider it for this film. Questions should be based around the subject of Modern Christianity. The nature of such questions can span from things like, "How can Christianity POSSIBLY be true" all the way to "which doctrine is right?" Those are just examples. Any question that is even remotely connected to the subject of Christianity is worth your time to submit.

This is NOT a contest...
...or any form of cheap, promotional ploy. I am merely convinced that some of the best questions (which ought to be asked) are not within my reach. There are others of you who have long wondered about various things but never had the protected opportunity to venture that far into the dangerous unknown. That is why I present this to you. If we are all to benefit, then we must all feel comfortable contributing. So, whether you are a regular visitor to my blog or just passing by, please take the time to think up your best question(s) relating to modern Christianity and shoot them at me in an E-mail.

Oh and... GO THERE. ASK THE UGLY, HARD QUESTIONS.

Until then,
Be well.

Tying a shoe.

2005-02-20T17:25:00.000-05:00

Tying a shoe takes a certain amount of time, practice, discipline, and work.

People cannot tie shoes when they are born.
They must first learn how.
It takes skill and effort.

On the other hand, any person (or monkey for that matter) can pull the same string and unravel the entire effort with very little time, no practice, discipline or work.

WELL CRAP!

2005-02-02T04:19:00.000-05:00

Folks (and by folks I mean Christians), I am REALLY wrestling with some serious conflict right now. You see, it all goes back to the "sermon" I belched out last Sunday evening near Knightstown, IN.

I know the sermon was for me as much as it was for anyone. If you were there, you might recall me actually tearing up at the very beginning. What you may not know... I was actually full-on crying at the back of the sanctuary as it all hit me. You see, I had shown up that night with a video of Haiti and nothing else. And it's not as though I had procrastinated in my preparations. All week I was drawing blanks.

I cried in front of the church because I was "hearing God" right then and there... without warning and in front of the "class." Usually, this sort of thing happens to me in the quiet of privacy. But that night, God was working me over right there in front of a group of people I barely knew. If it hadn't been the Lord, I would have felt violated and vulnerable. But it didn't feel that way. It was sweeeet. Tasty.

"CAN'T GO THERE JUST YET."
I want to believe that this thing rolling around in my head is from the Creator of Heaven and Earth. I want to believe that I have been granted a deeper revelation (which is surprisingly more simple than profound). I want to believe what my heart is SCREAMING OUT TO ME...that it might actually be true. The PROBLEM is... it flies in the face of what all of us have been taught (on many levels). It's beyond bold... and yet it isn't. Truth be known, it's pretty great. Heh, the silliest part of all of it is that I'm not afraid of God at all. It's the people that I fear. And it's because of them that I can't "go there" just yet. Not in public. Not in a pulpit.

"MY HAT IS OFF."
Martin Luther, I believe that I feel some of what you must have gone through... to be haunted by suspicions about our faith that literally fly in the face of every prevailing teaching and teacher that has walked for generations before you. Who the heck did you think you were? You brash and prude heretic! My hat is off to you. Not because you had the thoughts. Not even because you allowed them to fester in your heart (which is more than most folks will allow in their own hearts). My hat flies off because you just went and did it... you nailed those thoughts on the DOOR OF THE CHURCH! Whew.

What balls.

"STINKY FRIENDS and STUCK FOOD."
You ever have that friend that just always stinks? B.O.
Or what about the guy who has crap jammed between his teeth cause he never brushes? They're usually the ones complaining about never finding anyone to date or get close to. And you just wanna SCREAM... "Brush your teeth! Take a friggin' shower!" 'Cause you're pretty sure that would perhaps TRIPLE their chances of romance.

But you don't say a thing. Nothing. 'Cause you love them. So much so, that you would rather spare them the pain of "now"... despite the complete bliss that they could gain if you were only willing to speak freely.

Well people, "You've got crap stuck in your teeth and you wreak to high heavens." I'm just trying to gain the courage to tell you... to hurt you... so that you might be finally free.

...please forgive me as I delay...

Criss-crossed

2005-02-01T02:21:00.000-05:00

Today, I am less impressed that Jesus died for my sins.
Right now, I am MORE IMPRESSED that He bothered to show up at all.
To leave the glory and comfort and security of Heaven... to exist on this POS we call Earth... now THAT'S amazing. I am speechless that He willingly died. But I am honored that He first troubled Himself 33 years to live... among us.

Leading by example.
We're SO JAZZED to talk about giving our lives to Jesus and dying to self. We have forgotten the part of His life that took the longest... the living. Perhaps, before we do anything else, we should follow his lead.

Imagine your life. It is comfortable to you. In a way, it is your "Heaven." You know it. It fits. Not perfect, but somewhat predictable. You can exist there. Now imagine the most disgusting and repulsive opposite to your life. The place you have no business being in. Do you really wanna be like Jesus?

Then show up.

Get your head around this...

2004-12-13T01:10:00.000-05:00

A Moment Of Clarity...
Lately, I have been seeing a lot on the news concerning our right to practice religious freedom. Looking back, I guess I have heard that such rights have been threatened for most of my life.

Small battles.
Some have been won.
Some have been lost.

But now it comes down to the removal of "Christ" from Christmas.
There is talk of striking "In God We Trust" from our money.
"One nation, under God..." is threatened by removal from our patriotic pledge of allegiance.

Secularists are foaming at the mouth.
Christians are boiling with anger and fear.
Post-Moderns could care less.
Traditionalists seek clarity from the forefathers.
We all fit somewhere into the equation.

Open your mind for one spilt second.
"In God We Trust" emblazoned on our money means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to me... or you either, most likely. Especially when you consider that the love of money is the root of ALL EVIL.

ALL EVIL?

Wow. That's pretty serious, wouldn't you say?

We place some bullshot statement about trusting God onto the face of the VERY THING that we actually trust MORE THAN GOD.

So, as far as I'm concerned, strike it from our cash. Seriously. Get it off there! Having it on there is doing us more harm than good anyway. It lulls us into believing that we actually DO trust God. I mean honestly. It's as absurd as printing "In pornography I am disgusted" onto the front of every porno magazine and then spending your entire life collecting porno magazines. It's Okay! These porno magazines say "In porno I'm disgusted." Clearly, I don't enjoy them. Can't you read?

It's like printing "I rely upon Jesus for answers" onto a box of tarot cards and then carrying them everywhere you go. Scrambling day in and day out to get MORE tarot cards. Hoping your boss gives you a tarot card raise at the end of the year. Going to school to learn about how to better handle your tarot cards.

PUKE.

Why we do it?
I submit that the ONLY WAY we can feel good about stockpiling our cash and ultimately, TRUSTING IN OUR CA$H, is by printing some lie about NOT trusting in our cash across the face of our cash.

We cleverly hand our mistress a T-shirt that reads "I love my wife" and ask her to wear it. We read that shirt, as it dangles from the bedpost of a cheap motel room, taking some beguiled comfort in the lie, while having intercourse with the very woman that makes the T-shirt a fraud.

In God we trust is a lie for most everyone. Yes, even Christians.

In money we trust.
Who you we kidding?

My Suggestion.
Either remove "In God We Trust" from our money or change the phrase slightly. "This God We Trust" seems much more intellectually honest anyway.

As for Christmas...
Don't even get me started!

The more I travel the world, the more I am aware that Americans only know one thing... the pleasure of STUFF.

Seriously, even on missionary trips, the groups I have traveled with ALWAYS default to bringing stuff with them. The hope is that, if the time and place are right, one will be able to give that stuff to a poor person. Seems reasonable, doesn't it? I can't tell you how many times I've seen this happen.

Now I'm not saying that giving stuff is WRONG. It just amazes me that that's ALL AMERICANS KNOW HOW TO DO!!!

If an American cannot give MONEY or POSSESSIONS... then they don't feel as though they can give anything. Even right now, you're probably wondering what else there is!

Rest assured, there is more... MUCH MORE that you can give. I won't tell you what it is. If you're listening to the voice of and/or examining the life of Christ, then you'll stumble across it sooner or later.

Culturally speaking, Christmas is all about stuff.

Even I can't shake it. The "stuff" is the period at the end of the sentence. It's the moment we're all waiting for.

So, once again, yank the word "Christ" from Christmas. On a cultural scale, the holiday isn't about Him anymore anyway. We're lying if we think it is.

How can I say all of this?
A moment of clarity, I guess that's my excuse.

We're all up in arms about protecting our religious freedoms. Why?
Does that strike anyone else as being rather silly?

After all, who the Son sets free is free indeed. Who gives a mighty rip what our constitution says? Who cares how many schools ban prayer? What difference does it make whether the ten commandments are allowed on public display?

THE BOTTOM LINE.
You are free to serve Christ. It doesn't matter WHERE you live. Oh sure, there may be a price to pay, and that price might be your life. But what worthwhile thing DOESN'T have its price? Besides, didn't you ultimately give your life away to Christ anyway?

Wasn't THAT the price of salvation?

Worth fighting for?
That's the best excuse Christians can make when it comes to trying to protect our religious freedoms.
It's a cause worth fighting for.

The problem is, for all of the "fighting" we are willing to do, we are equally and oppositely UNWILLING to love. If Christians acted like Christ for a change (now THERE'S a novel thought), we would be too busy serving and loving others to fight for the right to carry Bibles or read the ten commandments in school or protect the definition of the word "marriage."

If presented with the opportunity, then say what Christ would have you say concerning all of the "issues." Until then, quit formulating YOUR "protect-the-things-I'm-comfortable-with-even-though-
they-have-nothing-to-do-with-my-eternal-salvation-but-only-my-
personal-comfort" AGENDA. Instead, follow Christ's agenda. LOVE OTHERS. BE A SERVANT.

Sheep and Goats
On one level, I think the BEST THING that could happen to us in America would be religious persecution.
Once and for all, the hypocrites would shut the hell up and the true believers would emerge (and probably be killed).

In fact, in that sense, I can easily believe that the loss of religious freedom (which seems to be happening on a daily basis) is most likely God-breathed.

Why do we hate it so? Because we're all a bunch of liars, that's why. Making things tough would only serve to reveal our true selves. We would be exposed for who we really are. The walls of our motel room would collapse and the world would see that we DON'T love our "wife." Instead, we have been gleefully mounting our mistress. Oopsy Daisy! BUSTED!

Don't kid yourself.
The lies we paint on our money, the pledges we make in our classrooms, the "birthday" we celebrate in December... these things are merely distracting us and keeping us from what we all know deep down in our hearts...

that we are not servants to others
that Christ is not our master
that we love ourselves more than our neighbors
that we are running the show
that NO ONE is the boss of me.

My Prayer
God, please show mercy and save us from our selves.
Break our legs if you must.
Enslave us if that is all that will make us honest once again.
Forgive us.
We have sinned.

Discussion Starter...

2004-11-22T11:35:00.000-05:00

*DON'T JUST GET PISSED. Turn on your brain.
Let's hear those comments!

NEWS FLASH

2004-11-17T22:00:00.000-05:00

This just in...
God took our unborn baby this week.
My wife had surgery to have the corpse removed from her womb.
The baby is gone.

Blessed be the name of the LORD.

MAKE A DIFFERENCE - PART ONE

2004-10-19T09:13:00.000-05:00

Little ol' you...
You can make a difference! And we all know how incredibly GOOD IT FEELS.

Buy a kid a gumball.
Pay for someone's tank of gas.
Give away your umbrella in the middle of a downpour.
Offer your seat.
Be creative!!!!!!!!!

Another option
Looking for something a little different? Take a look at the recent undertaking that my wife Adrian and I have put our minds to.

"Truth be told"
I'm not picky about HOW you help.
Just help someone.
Somewhere.
Somehow.

Be an obedient servant and serve, serve, serve!!!!!

HAVE A BLAST and please come back and share your experiences!

Time to say more...

2004-10-13T21:14:00.000-05:00

"Friends, strangers, and enemies... lend me your eyes."
I am empty. Drained. Completely poured out. It's why I haven't written in so long. Because all of this stuff that I've been saying in previous blogs has been screwing my entire life up. It's been a complete, personal disaster!

Everything that I have wanted and planned for is going away. All that I have considered to be mine by birthright has been exposed for what it really is... not mine.

I took the "red pill" some time ago.
(If that analogy is lost to you then none of this will make any sense anyway. Not my problem. That's your problem).

My problem is that the perfect plan and will of God burns up human flesh and bone like the surface of the sun. It melts ego down to shame. It boils the flesh right off of pride and selfishness.

"Is there an officer, problem?"
A good friend of mine was raised by a father who was an acoholic. Growing up, like any best friend, I spent many nights at his house. I've seen his dad beat the crap out of him and him beat the crap out of his dad. And in the end, according to the father, there was never a problem.

Drug addicts are a bunch of stupid bastards. Stupid to the core. Completely controlled and yet unable to admit it. I know this partially from observance. I also know this from experience.

"Confession is good for the soul"
I guess it's time I came clean folks. I have been so completely strung out on drugs for so very long now. Honestly, I don't even know where it started. But I have been controlled for the better part of my life. I have denied it. I have hidden it well. But I cannot hide it any longer.

I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't been strung out on SO MANY drugs. Perhaps a selected "pleasure" of choice would at least give the appearance of some hint of choice or discretion. But I haven't been so picky. Any drug would do. And price was never a real problem. Debt is an addict's secret admirer.

But now I can see it. And finally, this stupid bastard can begin to admit it.

"Well there you go!"
Some of you guys have been reading my stuff and thinking that I have been completely screwed in the head. As you read this new posting, it is the reprive that you have long hoped would come. It is the undoing of all of the freaked out nonsense that ruffled your feathers. It is the due recourse that a screwball, hippie like me rightly deserves. It is the house on sinking sand, finally sinking. It is justice.

Well I wouldn't want to let you down.

"If I had to guess"
I would imagine that, in the same way we read the Bible (or any book for that matter), you actually think you have some freakin' idea about what I am saying right now. You see the letters right there in front of your well-educated eyes and you understand their literal meanings. Then, attached to the enormous ego that most of us have, you supply your own translation of those literal words. The result is your conviction about what I am saying. Your understanding.

So let me just clear it up a bit.

Cable TV
Coca-Cola
Air Conditioning
McDonald's
DVDs
Moving sidewalks at the airport
Christmas bonuses
Carpet
Asprin
Predictable income
Insurance
Money
Credit
Acceptance

Those are but a select few.
These are some of the drugs to which I have been addicted.

Surprised?
Expected pot or crack or alcohol?
Disappointed?

Was it anti-climactic?

You see folks
...(and I'm only gonna write this once)...
if you are UNWILLING or UNABLE to do without
SOMETHING...

then
you
are
controlled
by
it.

You are an addict.
Plain.
Simple.

I fully expect the lot of you to roll your eyes or sigh in disappointement.
I fully expect that this will seem stupid to you.

You say
"I'm not controlled by air conditioner or McDonald's or predictable income!"

You will deny it.
Just like a true addict.

"All Things Dull And Ugly"

2004-08-26T09:58:00.001-05:00

Since I am in the habit of posting media right now...
I thought I would throw this pearl at you. It's a real beauty!

I know that it will likely tick a few folks off from the get-go,
but I think that it raises some SERIOUS meat for conversation.

As "believers" we attribute everything that we like to God
and everything that we don't like to something or someone else.

Somewhere at its core, I think that way of believing is wrong.
But I wanna hear your thoughts this time!

THERE IS AUDIO WITH THIS PAGE!
BE SURE TO TURN YOUR VOLUME ON!

Click HERE to have a listen and be sure to come back to comment!

Kanye West...YOU MUST SEE THIS!

2004-08-23T22:14:00.000-05:00

ENJOY.
Let's hear those comments!

Proving once again, there IS more than corn in Indiana!

2004-08-10T21:35:00.000-05:00

Give these folks a peek sometime.
It's a pretty sweet thing they're doing.

Let's hear those caption ideas!

This one might ROCK YOUR WORLD!

2004-08-03T13:13:00.001-05:00

A Moment Of Clarity...
You know, I was chewing on the whole "tower of Babel" story in Genesis 11 today and it struck me, I think that division among the church (most notably in the form of denominationalism) is perhaps NECESSARY and GOD BREATHED. What could I possibly mean by that? Let me explain...

Upside down!
I for one have always ranted about how wicked division among believers is. Even last night as I was speaking with someone from a German Baptist persuasion, I moaned about how wicked it is that we are all so divided.

Often such division is rooted in nothing more than varied interpretations of the Bible. That's it. It's like the scene in "The Life Of Brian" where they are trying to figure out the meaning of the sandal. Hilarious... and bitterly true.

But I feel like God might be telling me differently today. After all, our ways are NOT His ways.

The Bitter Pill.
As postmoderns (or those desperately wishing they were), we bitch and moan about the church having lost significance. We secretly pout at the failed experiment we called "church". We try to regroup and emerge anew.

FRESH
BOLD
RELEVANT
EFFECTIVE
EVOCOTIVE
DIFFERENT

But, in all of our zeal, I fear for us too. I fear that, if the emerging church grows too structured... if it becomes too tangible and easily defined... if it starts to gain organization and directive... if you can point at it and say "there it is"... it too will falter, for its form alone. God will see to it.

Lessons from Babel...
The point is not to keep us from arriving at His level. God isn't threatened by us. He is not knocking us to the ground because we are getting too close! On the contrary! As we unite, we drift further away from Him. We begin to elect elders and leaders. We begin to assign power to places, times, and agendas. We begin to THINK that we "get it" as we drift further from the fact that we are perpetually NOT getting it.

In that chapter in Genesis, it seems clear to me that God shot those folks down because they were too close to becoming self-sufficient. Dangerously close to forgetting how much they needed redemption. The tower wasn't too tall. The people were too united.

Taking it all in...
From what I gather, too much community... too much unity... leads to too many accomplishments. And too many accomplishments lead to a feeling of sufficiency. And a feeling of sufficiency leads us in the opposite direction of the cross.

"Who needs God? LOOK what WE'VE DONE!"
We don't say it...
and we deny it if accused...
but we're so good at LIVING it.

"Make yer point son!"
I have MANY suppositions about the purpose and function of the Bible, but today I gained a new one.

Could it be that we are SUPPOSED to be confused?
Is it SUPPOSED to be vague?!
Is it SUPPOSED TO DIVIDE!?

DARE I SAY...

THE BIBLE IS
SUPPOSED
TO DIVIDE
US?!

I think so.

God is no bumbling fool.
If it needs to be clear... it will be.
That is that.

If it isn't clear... the there's a reason for it.

Today, we see a church that is spilt every which way. Up and down, side to side, and straight through the middle. We see Christians, like ants under a kicked stone, running madly around... trying to make sense of it all. Killing one another in the process.

Gaining perspective...
From our vantage point, it's a mess. Dogma eat Dogma. But I believe... it is pleasing to God? To see us all so incapable? To see us searching instead of settling? To see us needing instead of having? To see us struggling instead of accomplishing? That is where He wants us. Why?

Because perhaps, at the end of the day, when the sun goes down and we hunker around or work lights out in the garage... trying to figure out why "it" didn't work... we might one night, eventually realize that we are simply not enough. That the work is futile. That the results are temporary. And that "temporary" is ultimately unnaceptable. Then perhaps, when we emerge the following morning, into a world of second chances... we might look toward HIM for hope. For peace. For security. For accomplishment. For value.

But what about LOVE?
Does saying God chooses to divide us mean that God chooses for us to hate one another? Absolutely NOT! How awful. On the contrary, we are to LOVE ONE ANOTHER. What good is it if you only love those who love you? What good is it if you only love those who agree with you? There is no honor in that. This supposition about God desiring our division only enhances the beauty of love when we choose to love one another... despite the cataclysmic rift that God has placed between us. Could love be more authentic than that?

"Finger Pointing"
If the church is over... I'm not sure that I completely blame us anymore. I think that God might have just picked up the rock we were under and started flicking us around... breaking up our best laid plans... sending us into a pathetic and beautiful downward spiral. Smiling as He watches us scamper about wondering, "what did WE do wrong?"

It's what we did right that was wrong.
Our strengths were our damming weaknesses...
drawing attention away from Christ and leaving it on us.

The Bible.
A tool of division.

Left in Christ's wake,
not to fill the void,
but to maintain it.

a virus in our system
loaded by the administrator himself

A thorn in our minds
that will firmly linger
until Christ returns.

the equation
not the solution

Dividing us.
Confusing us.

Keeping us in a perpetual state of need.

What an interesting and bold idea that is!

It's time I recommended some films...doncha think?

2004-07-14T02:18:00.000-05:00

It's 2:20am and I just finished viewing the third installment of the Lord Of The Rings Trilogy (again...not the first time). TRULY A MASTERPIECE. I am convinced on some level that, as long as mankind continues to make such beautiful works of art (riddled with gospel Truth...even if unwittingly), God might just hold his hand... so that He too can watch.

If you haven't seen it... I HIGHLY recommend this film (along with its two earlier installments). I bawl my eyes out at the ending of the third film every time. What a perfect and beautiful picture all three of these films paint of Love, Evil, Justice, Injustice, Hope, Faith, and Forgiveness (and SO MUCH MORE). If you want even a HINT of what Heaven will be like, I promise you, this film NAILS it.

One of the things I love about a good film is when it so moves me to tears, but in a deep and fulfilling way. There is no guilt or shame involved. The tears are tears of gentle and willful resolution to the Truth that I must yield myself at the feet of. When a film does this to me... I am so spiritually moved and so powerfully altered.

The will be PLENTY more that I recommend in the days, weeks, and months to come... but I'm fresh coming down from my high on this one... so there it is.

"The Lord Of The Rings - The Return Of The King"

Happy viewing!
By the way, if you have seen it... tell me what (if anything) it did to you. For those who haven't yet seen it, be aware... reading ahead could spoil some of it for you. Read on at your own risk.

Luke

Thar's a GUN in the house!!!!!

2004-07-11T10:29:00.000-05:00

Hide the dog! Put away the kids!
Daddy done bought himself a GUN! It wasn't easy to do either. For some reason, there was a lot of guilt that I had to work through when I made the purchase. I think that it was unmistakably connected to my Christian upbringing. No, my father didn't ever teach me that guns were evil (although, from his experiences in war...he may well have wanted to). And as I remember, we had a rifle and a shotgun tucked away in a closet somewhere... boomsticks that my father had inherited from his father. Heck, pops even took us shooting once.

Still got it where it counts!
It was a short lesson in "gun fun." Poor little bunny. Pops took both of its eyes clean out of its fluffy little head with a 22 caliber round, in one eye and out the other. As I remember it, the second eye was actually dangling by a large "vein" of some sort; there was no trace of the other. And all from a distance of what seemed like 25 yards! I swear, It was AMAZING. 'Course, at my tender young age, and with a teeming feminine side that I had yet to bring into submission, I was crying like a baby. I recall saying, "I hate you dad" as I stormed off.

An important lesson...
GUNS ARE NOT TOYS. And owning one is SERIOUS BUSINESS. So when I made my purchase, I had a lot of soul searching to do. Right now, I have no intention of going into my reasons for buying the gun. Maybe in a later post. Besides, that's not even the point. The point is...THAR'S A GUN IN THE HOUSE! And THAT begs a change...

With great power comes GREAT responsibility...
This is no church musical. It's not like a mistake will ever be cute. An accident is never something we will look back on and laugh. It's a deadly gamble. Really. Because a gun is just a tool. And a tool does what it does, despite ethics or reason. It doesn't care who's holding it. It doesn't bother with clever conversation. It just shoots bullets. Hollow point, 40 caliber bullets. 10 in the clip, one in the chamber. The resluts can be neutral, good, or horrible; it completely depends on how it is used.

Now change the paradigm!
The Bible describes ITSELF as being sharper than any two edged sword. Last time I checked, swords were weapons. But they were tools too. Depending on how they were used, the results could be nuetral, good, or horrible (much like a gun). Especially those two-edged ones. Whew! Talk about a tool! Well guess what folks, THAR'S A SWORD IN THE HOUSE! And with great power comes GREAT responsibility. It's not cute or funny or whimsical or laughable. It's as serious as a heartattack.

"It's only a flesh wound..."
As I daily seek to love those around me, both within and without the chruch, I am ALARMED at the number of scars that seem to be turning up. It seems like, everywhere you look, you can easily pick out two or three people (at the very LEAST) who have been severely wounded by the piercing edge of a sword. It's almost like they've come from a viscious battlefield somewhere. And there's SO MANY of them! It's really quite astounding. And guess what folks...those people DON'T LIKE SWORDS. Maybe they used to. But how would you feel about guns if I shot you with one? What about if I shot you twice? What about if I shot you EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU CAME OVER TO MY HOUSE? You wouldn't like that very well...would you?

They have a name for that!
It's called being "gun shy" and it's basic psychology baby. When it comes down to it, dad is gone and the kids have found the key to the lock box. We've been swinging the Bible around to our end for centuries now. Get in the way, I'll cut you. Disagree with my ideas, I'll stick it through your lower intestine. Question my understanding of the sword, and you're bound to lose an eye (rabbit style). Wear the wrong clothes, say the wrong words, have sex with the wrong gender, be the wrong color, ask too many of the wrong questions, and you can count on losing some parts of you...if not just dying altogether.

Practice makes imperfect.
With all of the rounds that have gone through the "gun"... with all of the swings we have swung with the "sword"... with each of the words we have said with our mouths... you'd think by now we would be exhibiting some degree of mastery with the weaponry we have in our keep. And truthfully, I guess we do in one sense. But we've only mastered our ability to slaughter one another. *8* (this indicates the inspiration of a NEW BLOG...stay tuned)

Relatively Speaking...
More and more I am finding my place. I am feeling drawn to those who have been so deeply cut, so badly wounded, that they have no capacity to ever see another "weapon" (read:Bible) as long as they live. For many "Christians" who hear that, it is a bad thought. But why? After all, is it not possible that the TRUTH contained withi its pages is not BOUND by its pages?

Unarmed.
That's what I want to be. Harmless. Vulnerable. No longer hinding behind the quivering blade of steel that has for far too long been where my faith has been. It's just too hard to serve when your hands are full anyway. The sword belongs in its sheath. Words, hidden in my heart. Tucked away...deep away. So deep that it changes me. And then I wonder...

Could it be that such a weapon,
sharper than any two-edged sword,
was never intended for battle anyway?

Is it possible that suicide is condoned in the Kingdom?
The very tools supplied?

"Die to self."
"The old man."
"Dead in Christ."
All familiar concepts.

Perhaps the wickedness in our darkened hearts,
so great as to cause a chasm so infinitely wide
we may never cross over to our Creator,
has but one cure.

We found the sword. We assumed its purpose.
"Sustain ourSELVES," we cry. "Protect our PROTECTOR."
And we swing at others. VILE ATTACKERS!

Trying to hold the fort. Secure the line. OBLIVIOUS the whole time...

...that the sword was not built for battle, nor crafted for war.
That a SAVIOUR needs no SAVING.
That a weapon of such powerful terror was designed for the destruction of a far more sinister foe...
SELF.

Swords held aloft and points shimmering forward, we have failed.
Trembling eyes, gaping in fear at the
unkown evil that may lie in wait.
But it will not come as we know.
Not in such a way.

The time has come.
Soldiers arise. Accept your defeat. Embrace the Truth,
that the sword being held is more valuable
than the soldier holding it.

That the (s)word indeed created the soldier.
Surrender to the (s)word. Completely.

Turn your sword, butt to the ground.
Now, arms aloft, raise your head to the Heavens and let go.
Fall with all of your earthly weight
upon the piercing tip of the blade,
until the pop of your chestbone
is the precursor to the silencing of your heart.

Kill Self.

I suspect that is what the Bible is for. Not assault. Not defense...
...but suicide.

See you on the other side!

Visit My Website!

2004-06-26T18:43:00.000-05:00

Okay...I know this is shameless. But if you haven't done so yet, visit my new website!

Fireside Pictures

Where you stick your wick...

2004-06-07T14:18:00.000-05:00

*A Brief Disclaimer:
As I am fully aware that there may be "Christians" who read this, I wish to make it VERY CLEAR that all such words which one would otherwise label as "swearing" or "curse" words that are found within this particular blog have been methodically and carefully chosen to be placed where they are, precisely for their designed purpose... to communicate a specific thought. Please read all such words LITERALLY (that is to say:with their ACTUAL MEANINGS attached) and NOT as emotional interjections. If you cannot HANDLE such literal use of the English language, then please do not read on. Truth is, if that is you, then you probably can't handle the "meat" within this Blog in the first place. For the rest of you...read on...FREE YOUR MIND. Gosh, that sounded a lot like the "Red Pill - Blue Pill" speech! Brother Morpheus would be proud.

"The Emporer's Not WEARING Any Clothes!"
In my intellectual journey, I find myself more and more often re-examining the broader methods, definitions, and practices that "Christians" are most reputably known for. In part, it is these very generalized beliefs that make up the bulk of why the word "Christian" has simply lost its meaning (see "Why I'm Not A Christian Anymore..."). Among those beliefs is the debate over homosexuality and its relationship to salvation.

It makes NO DIFFERENCE where you stand on this issue, EVERYONE KNOWS it's big news!

To begin with,
let's just be up front about some things.
First, there are always extremes in any debate, from one end of the spectrum to another. From GodHatesFags to GodLovesFags, opinions span the range of possibilities.

The EASY thing to do...
If you're ever looking for the EASY way to deal with any known issue, just observe the prevailing cultural approach. From the "world" the easy way to deal with homosexuality is to just accept it...no questions asked. From the "church" the easy way to deal with homosexuality is to just condem it...no questions asked. Sadly, our prevailing culture (Christians MOST DEFINITELY included) REALLY LOVES EASY.

Avoiding easy...
Unfortunately, I fear that God is not so simple. I'm just not sure that the "issue" is as cut and dry as that..to either of the extremes. Now I am not suggesting moral relativism (that is to say, no moral absolutes). However, I am suggesting that there may be times when such absolutes are not called into question and yet certain quandries remain.

To make a GOOD argument...
...Christians seem to be weak at doing this. The reason? They don't work both sides of the equation. After all, a GOOD argument requires such attention. For example, a popular "Christian" argument would be that homosexuality is wrong because God did not design our "bits" to fit together "that way." Simple biology really. Another way of saying the same would be to say that it is immoral to use our bodies in a way that is CONTRARY to how they were designed. However, Christians fail to take that reasoning to its opposite logical end. That would therefore mean that it is likewise immoral to NOT use our bodies in the way that they WERE designed. In other words, people who abstain from sex (based on that argument alone) are just as immoral as those who have sex...but in the wrong way.

I SUBMIT...
Our job is not to know...but to love.
I mean really, where do we get off issuing a decree one way or the other? Maybe nailing someone to a cross over their homosexuality helps you better ignore you incessant masturbation. Or perhaps condeming a "queer" is the best way to divert attention away from the fact that you don't really love your husband. Maybe it's the racism... or the verbal or physical abuse you subject your kids to... or the money you're skimming off the top... or the hatred you have for that guy who took advantage of you in that small business venture you had a go at... or whatever! You name it! Who's perfect? Really?

The WHOLE POINT is our imperfection.
Folks, it's why we NEED A SAVIOUR. I submit that homosexuality is WONDERFUL.

WOAAHH THERE JUNIOR!!!!

Now you've gone TOO FAR!

Let me explain...
I submit that homosexuality is perhaps one of the MAJOR ISSUES responsible for thrusting the modern church into a tailspin that it will not soon (if ever) pull out of...and that is wonderful!

It's wonderful because "Love your neighbor as yourself" and "God hates fags" cannot coexist any longer. And yet, for so long, we have nutured and DESIRED such cohabitation. Talk about forcing our OWN AGENDA. OK, so maybe you don't subscribe to "God Hates Fags." Perhaps you are a "God hates the sin but loves the sinner" bonehead. I call such people boneheads NOT BECAUSE I DISAGREE with the fact that God hates sin and loves sinners, but because such Truth has NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT WHO'S "IN" and WHO'S "OUT" OF THE KINGDOM.

OK, fine! So God Hates sin!
OK, fine! So God loves sinners.

What have we proven? IF ANYTHING we only prove that each of us has HOPE! After all, are we not ALL SINNERS? Could it be that God is using the most "taboo" of issues to actually purge His church? Ask Jesus. He seemed to be pretty good at turning expectations of the Pharisees on their heads.

"Calling a duck a duck..."
Christians get real persnickity and downright MEAN when you catch them wallering in their mud pits. You call a duck a duck and you're bound to get the boot. You expose the cold, hard hypocracy that suggests one man's right to Christ's sacrifice and refuses it to another, and Christians get all worked up. We act like you don't understand us or something...but really, the anger is more closely connected to HOW VERY WELL YOU DO UNDERSTAND US. We get angry because we cannot explain ourselves. We cannot explain ourselves because we cannot deal with the outright shame that comes when the person in the lifeboat faces the fact that they WILLFULLY KICKED OUT ANOTHER, back into the icy waters, just because they were afraid those very others would sink the lifeboat itself.

"In our salvation...we are murderers."
Selfish. Pathetic. Shameful. That is what we are. Completely lacking faith in the salvation that Christ has given us. Believing it has limitations. Fearing that the boat cannot hold certain loads. Proclaiming that we understand what salvation is cabpable of withstanding and what it is not.

Where does such self-protecting rage come from?

SHAME.

And where does such awful shame come from?

FROM KNOWING ONE SIMPLE TRUTH:

That if we were the only soul left in the icy water, and the lifeboat was one seat short of having room for us...that Christ Himself would trade us places...in an INSTANT and without hesitation trade His seat for our frigid, watery grave... becuase He loves us THAT MUCH.

We on the other hand are in it for ourSELVES.

FILTHY.

DIRTY.

GREEDY.

HELL-BENT ON STAYING IN THE DAMNED BOAT!
BASTARDS, every one, but not for circumstance...

...WE ARE FATHERLESS BY CHOICE!

Now the Truth:

Salvation is not found on land,
where crowded lifeboats wash ashore.
Salvation is found only at the bottom of the sea.

"In So Many Words"

2004-06-04T15:53:00.000-05:00

This sortof came up in response to other responses to "Why I'm not a Christian anymore..." and I just had to bring it up front.

I will be brief in making my point as I feel many words are not needed to sell this one. Here it is, in so many words:

In order to LIE, you MUST use words.
In order to LOVE, words are completely UNNECESSARY.

If you chew on that for a week or so, I think you will find...that's POWERFUL STUFF!

What is it with caves?

2004-06-03T04:05:00.000-05:00

You've seen one, you've seen 'em all...
I think NOT. I mean, what is it with caves? I just love these things. Or maybe they're not things at all. I mean, after all, a hole is the one "thing" that just gets bigger the more you take away from it.

Music Video Musings...
It was in the early summer of 2003 when I (along with the most amazing rag-tag crew of professional and amateur filmmakers) set to the task of shooting four music videos over the course of one week. Considering that these were all "on location" (which simply means NOT in a studio) and spread across a map from southern Indiana to the middle of Michigan, it was quite a task that lay ahead. What this has to do with caves will now be revealed.

The First Day.
If you've ever directed anything before (be it a feature film or a school play) you understand both the significance and the frustrations that come with the first day. It's that time when the entire crew becomes acclimated to one another and (more importantly) to you. It is a day that often proves to be less than perfect in terms of peak efficiency. No one is able to predict the moves of another. Let's face it, you've only just met. So as a director, despite your overzealous hopes, there is certainly no grand expectation (if you're any good). You kindof leave room for failure. Of course, failure rarely happens in the truest sense of the term. Instead, the sun will usually set on a first day, leaving you with a good sense of pace and a real handle on the type of crew that you have.

Start taking notes...NOW
As a director, I think that it's very important to develop your own style. I didn't say "create" your own style. I truly mean "develop" it. That is to say, it's already there. It is everything that makes you YOU. To be any good, you really have to DISCOVER that and then try to GROW it. So one of the things I like to do is overload the first day. I mean, really heap it on. There are a few practical reasons for this really. First and foremost, it is a good way to flush the "ego pheasants" from the brush right up front. Seriously, if you can really put the heat on immediately, you will get a good handle on the sort of people you have on your team. Are they tough? Do they break easily? How committed to this PARTICULAR PROJECT are they? (Remember, just 'cause Leroy was an ace on your last shoot, doesn't necessarily mean he will be of any worth on this shoot. Leroy is a dynamic and complex person just like you are. Maybe his dog just died. So get off his back already! Geeesh!) Anyway, another reason that such "heaping" or "front-loading" is effective is that you effectively make the back end of your shoot that much easier to handle. Remember, you've got a WEEK or a MONTH or THREE MONTHS of shooting ahead of you. As you near the end of that, people will be tired. Try to save some of the fun for last. Put some real work up front.

Weren't we talking about CAVES?!
Ah yes. Thank you. So, the first day of this one-week video shoot was spent filming in a cave in southern Indiana. What's more, the plan called for using a cammate (translation: camera crane consisting of giant crates, pedestal, and hundreds of pounds of dead weight), all of which had to be carried by hand into the belly of a nearly-pitch black cave. So at one point, while all of the AMAZING crew was lugging this beast into the belly of Marengo Cave, I found myself walking alongside Randy Shreve (drummer for the band). In his mid-twenties, he was in awe. As it happens, brother Randy had never been in a cave before!

Bless my soul...
Watching his childlike immersion unfold before my very eyes was truly a thing of beauty. I mean that. It was beautiful. This guy with a muscle shirt and a mohawk was immediately and perfectly made innocent and young again. Who he was became forgotten as he was made blissfully aware of who he wasn't. It made me think back to all of those caves and tunnels I walked in alongside my father when I was young. I grew steadily aware that not every kid gets to do that. It made me appreciate where I have been or rather (since a HOLE is more of nothing than it is of something) where I have NOT been. And then I started thinking about those naysayers. The "you've seen one, you've seen 'em all" folks. And I FINALLY put it together.

What I love MOST about caves...
It's not the mineral formations or the bats or the dripping water. It's certainly not the cheesy tour scripts delivered at the hands of a less than Shakespearian orator. It's not even when they flip the switch and cultivate within you a new found appreciation for light. Though all of those things are certainly part of the McCaving experience, they are NOT where the magic lies. And while there is a real sense of awe and wonderment that comes from a cave, perhaps even a haunted sense that we are not alone...buried in the overhead signatures and torch stains from a bygone era...that's not the beauty either. The real beauty for me, the real wonder, the real magic...what I love MOST about caves...is my father. I love you dad. I love those trips into the belly of nothingness that we've taken. We've been there and back so very many times. And though I suppose the formations and reflecting pools tend to get monotonous to the untrained eye, each holds a powerful and priceless memory for me. Thank you SO MUCH dad for the guilty pleasure that is caving. And while I'm at it, thanks to my creator as well. The artist who made art itself. Less really can be more. Nicely done!

You've seen one you've seen 'em all?
Nonsense. That's my dad you're talking about!

A few links:
Marengo Caves
GSMegaphone Website
My Dad

Not Enough Time!

2004-06-03T03:37:00.000-05:00

Am I the only one?

So I wake up in the middle of the night and just feel like I have to do SOMETHING. Anything really. It's nearly 4am as I begin this blog. Sleep (as much as I love it) is more of a burden than a blessing in my life. (My wife might be shocked to hear me say that. It seems like I try to squeeze in a nap any chance I get.) But sleep is when I'm not achieving. It's when I am forced to shelve productivity and embrace complete and total worthlessness. Despite all of the crap that I have done wrong in my lifetime, I feel like I will do more apologizing for sleep when I am made to "give an account" for my life. And the strange thing is...this is NORMAL for me.

As I sit here, I feel the heavy frustration that follows me EVERY DAY of my life. There's just so much to do and not enough time.

Not to wax dorky, but I have had this incessant sense of destiny scratching at the back of my brain now for most of my life. Seriously, it's kindof like the beef stew I had for dinner last night. It affects me. It hangs there. The taste of my purpose is so very obvious to me.

It's to the point that it nags me. But then, I guess that's why it's called destiny.

Why I'm not a Christian anymore...

2004-05-21T15:55:00.000-05:00

-Let's get straight to the point...
Suppose I walk into a gay bar. I push and weave through the crowd and eventually find myself at a table near the center of the room. Carefully, I climb up onto the table and, in as loud a voice as I can muster, I shout... "I'd like to have a fag in my mouth!"

What result do you think I could expect? Perhaps the answer is obvious. Does it matter that I intended to get a cigarrette?

No. Why?

Simply put, words (or perhaps more precisely) the meanings of words change over time (sometimes drastically) within the confines of any given culture.

-It's all about semantics baby.
The real stitch is that such changes are simply NOT UP TO INDIVIDUALS for approval or disapproval. That is to say, you and I have absolutely NO SAY in what any word might mean tomorrow.

So why am I not a Christian anymore? Because the word doesn't any longer mean what it is that I am. I can't tell you how many times I have had to preface or follow up the word "Christian" with some immediate rebuttal or apologetic explanation of what "I mean by it." I'm sick and tired of having to immediately apologize for the behaviour of my spiritual brothers and sisters every stinking time the word "Christian" comes out of my mouth.

-The word "Christian" is poison.
It didn't used to be...and perhaps it still isn't within certain religious circles...but I am finding more and more that it is very much a poison amongst those who define it as our broader culture now defines it. To be Christian (as I vaguely understand the present cultural definition) is to be churched or churchy or church-like. That's the new meaning. The problem is...that's NOT a compliment. Sadly folks, the church isn't exactly seen as beautiful these days. So sorry, but somebody had to say it. In no uncertain terms, the church is viewed by most "outsiders" as a vicious, dangerous, hypocritical, self-righteous, unholy, unjust, and unmerciful place; a place to be avoided at all costs. To those who are outside looking in, it is more a snake pit than it is the temple of the Most High. And don't give me any of that "well they're just feeling convicted" nonsense. Such a response applies only to itself, used as a sort of spiritual "hall pass" that makes us feel justified in our ultra-religious and overly non-Christlike behaviour. Shame on us...us "Christians."

So I've just decided that I'm not a Christian anymore. I just don't fit the cultural defenition of what that means. I don't belong to the ugly church that I see more often than not. I will not allow myself to be defined by such intolerance and selfish salvation.

I DO fit what I think that it means. But what I think it means just doesn't matter anymore...because what I think that it means is NOT (in this case) what it does really mean.

-So then what am I?
Well that's easy...I'm Luke. And I'm convinced that I no longer need a word to define what I believe. Our words are inadequate at BEST. I'm tired of branding. I'm done with grouping and clubbing. The social party is over for me and I'm not interested in belonging to a label anymore.

I am who God made me and I believe what God tells me and reveals to me. I choose wholeheartedly to follow the model that Jesus Christ set for living. I choose to give of myself and love others despite my selfish pangs. So there you have it. That's why I'm not a Christian anymore. And I don't feel bad about that either. After all, we are never required to call oursleves "Christian"...we are only asked to BE servants, lovers, and ultimately selfless.

So let's hear those thoughts.

Blessings
Luke

Cre8tive Musings is born!

2004-05-21T14:49:00.000-05:00

OK.

Here it is.

My Blogspot.

While the purpose of these sorts of things seems pretty pluralistic, I can assure you, my ultimate desire is to find (and eventually own) a deeper and more intense understanding of Truth.

I invite you to join me in this journey at your leisure. Fellow travelers only make the journey that much better.

But know this...I am not nearly as interested in the answers as I am in the questions. I am not seeking the solutions as much as I am hoping to expose the problems. I am in no way as hung up on the probabilities as I am interested in the remote possibilities.

That is not to say that answers, solutions, or probabilities are completely unwelcome. On the contrary, they are ultimately what I seek. But from humankind...I expect far less. I hope for dialogue. Conversation. An open exploration of what we do NOT know...which may in turn develop into that which we DO know.

Much like a handheld GPS device, we couldn't be more clueless about where we stand in the great scheme of things. We require a higher and constant source to define our place, our progress, our position, and our heading. As absurd as it is for a GPS to tell itself these things...so too is it absurd for us to define our selves or one another based on our limited vantage alone. Put simply...in our humanity, we lack all necessary perspective.

It is only through God's perspective that we can decipher our bearing.

May Truth and observation be our landmarks along the way. That mountain over there. The large lake up ahead. May the intellectual volley we engage in act as a clue to our coordinates but never be a replacement for that ultimate sense of temporal and spiritual placement that only comes from God.

Only He knows where we truly are in relationship to where we must be. As we enjoy one another's company on our respective journeys, let us take great care to respect our equal insufficiencies and leave plenty of room for the free flowing river of ideas.

Egos will not be tolerated. Challenges are welcome but only as long as they seek ultimately to find Truth. For those who speak as if they know something to be true...challenges prove to be anything but challenging. Instead, such moments are viewed as exciting opportunities to test theory by questioning it and, in turn, watching to see if can stand under the weight.

So welcome.
You are welcome.

Let us begin!