"Friends, strangers, and enemies... lend me your eyes."
I am empty. Drained. Completely poured out. It's why I haven't written in so long. Because all of this stuff that I've been saying in previous blogs has been screwing my entire life up. It's been a complete, personal disaster!
Everything that I have wanted and planned for is going away. All that I have considered to be mine by birthright has been exposed for what it really is... not mine.
I took the "red pill" some time ago.
(If that analogy is lost to you then none of this will make any sense anyway. Not my problem. That's your problem).
My problem is that the perfect plan and will of God burns up human flesh and bone like the surface of the sun. It melts ego down to shame. It boils the flesh right off of pride and selfishness.
"Is there an officer, problem?"
A good friend of mine was raised by a father who was an acoholic. Growing up, like any best friend, I spent many nights at his house. I've seen his dad beat the crap out of him and him beat the crap out of his dad. And in the end, according to the father, there was never a problem.
Drug addicts are a bunch of stupid bastards. Stupid to the core. Completely controlled and yet unable to admit it. I know this partially from observance. I also know this from experience.
"Confession is good for the soul"
I guess it's time I came clean folks. I have been so completely strung out on drugs for so very long now. Honestly, I don't even know where it started. But I have been controlled for the better part of my life. I have denied it. I have hidden it well. But I cannot hide it any longer.
I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't been strung out on SO MANY drugs. Perhaps a selected "pleasure" of choice would at least give the appearance of some hint of choice or discretion. But I haven't been so picky. Any drug would do. And price was never a real problem. Debt is an addict's secret admirer.
But now I can see it. And finally, this stupid bastard can begin to admit it.
"Well there you go!"
Some of you guys have been reading my stuff and thinking that I have been completely screwed in the head. As you read this new posting, it is the reprive that you have long hoped would come. It is the undoing of all of the freaked out nonsense that ruffled your feathers. It is the due recourse that a screwball, hippie like me rightly deserves. It is the house on sinking sand, finally sinking. It is justice.
Well I wouldn't want to let you down.
"If I had to guess"
I would imagine that, in the same way we read the Bible (or any book for that matter), you actually think you have some freakin' idea about what I am saying right now. You see the letters right there in front of your well-educated eyes and you understand their literal meanings. Then, attached to the enormous ego that most of us have, you supply your own translation of those literal words. The result is your conviction about what I am saying. Your understanding.
So let me just clear it up a bit.
Cable TV
Coca-Cola
Air Conditioning
McDonald's
DVDs
Moving sidewalks at the airport
Christmas bonuses
Carpet
Asprin
Predictable income
Insurance
Money
Credit
Acceptance
Those are but a select few.
These are some of the drugs to which I have been addicted.
Surprised?
Expected pot or crack or alcohol?
Disappointed?
Was it anti-climactic?
You see folks
...(and I'm only gonna write this once)...
if you are UNWILLING or UNABLE to do without
SOMETHING...
then
you
are
controlled
by
it.
You are an addict.
Plain.
Simple.
I fully expect the lot of you to roll your eyes or sigh in disappointement.
I fully expect that this will seem stupid to you.
You say
"I'm not controlled by air conditioner or McDonald's or predictable income!"
You will deny it.
Just like a true addict.
