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Fireside Pictures

Where you stick your wick...

*A Brief Disclaimer:
As I am fully aware that there may be "Christians" who read this, I wish to make it VERY CLEAR that all such words which one would otherwise label as "swearing" or "curse" words that are found within this particular blog have been methodically and carefully chosen to be placed where they are, precisely for their designed purpose... to communicate a specific thought. Please read all such words LITERALLY (that is to say:with their ACTUAL MEANINGS attached) and NOT as emotional interjections. If you cannot HANDLE such literal use of the English language, then please do not read on. Truth is, if that is you, then you probably can't handle the "meat" within this Blog in the first place. For the rest of you...read on...FREE YOUR MIND. Gosh, that sounded a lot like the "Red Pill - Blue Pill" speech! Brother Morpheus would be proud.

"The Emporer's Not WEARING Any Clothes!"
In my intellectual journey, I find myself more and more often re-examining the broader methods, definitions, and practices that "Christians" are most reputably known for. In part, it is these very generalized beliefs that make up the bulk of why the word "Christian" has simply lost its meaning (see "Why I'm Not A Christian Anymore..."). Among those beliefs is the debate over homosexuality and its relationship to salvation.

It makes NO DIFFERENCE where you stand on this issue, EVERYONE KNOWS it's big news!

To begin with,
let's just be up front about some things.
First, there are always extremes in any debate, from one end of the spectrum to another. From GodHatesFags to GodLovesFags, opinions span the range of possibilities.

The EASY thing to do...
If you're ever looking for the EASY way to deal with any known issue, just observe the prevailing cultural approach. From the "world" the easy way to deal with homosexuality is to just accept it...no questions asked. From the "church" the easy way to deal with homosexuality is to just condem it...no questions asked. Sadly, our prevailing culture (Christians MOST DEFINITELY included) REALLY LOVES EASY.

Avoiding easy...
Unfortunately, I fear that God is not so simple. I'm just not sure that the "issue" is as cut and dry as that..to either of the extremes. Now I am not suggesting moral relativism (that is to say, no moral absolutes). However, I am suggesting that there may be times when such absolutes are not called into question and yet certain quandries remain.

To make a GOOD argument...
...Christians seem to be weak at doing this. The reason? They don't work both sides of the equation. After all, a GOOD argument requires such attention. For example, a popular "Christian" argument would be that homosexuality is wrong because God did not design our "bits" to fit together "that way." Simple biology really. Another way of saying the same would be to say that it is immoral to use our bodies in a way that is CONTRARY to how they were designed. However, Christians fail to take that reasoning to its opposite logical end. That would therefore mean that it is likewise immoral to NOT use our bodies in the way that they WERE designed. In other words, people who abstain from sex (based on that argument alone) are just as immoral as those who have sex...but in the wrong way.

I SUBMIT...
Our job is not to know...but to love.
I mean really, where do we get off issuing a decree one way or the other? Maybe nailing someone to a cross over their homosexuality helps you better ignore you incessant masturbation. Or perhaps condeming a "queer" is the best way to divert attention away from the fact that you don't really love your husband. Maybe it's the racism... or the verbal or physical abuse you subject your kids to... or the money you're skimming off the top... or the hatred you have for that guy who took advantage of you in that small business venture you had a go at... or whatever! You name it! Who's perfect? Really?

The WHOLE POINT is our imperfection.
Folks, it's why we NEED A SAVIOUR. I submit that homosexuality is WONDERFUL.

WOAAHH THERE JUNIOR!!!!

Now you've gone TOO FAR!

Let me explain...
I submit that homosexuality is perhaps one of the MAJOR ISSUES responsible for thrusting the modern church into a tailspin that it will not soon (if ever) pull out of...and that is wonderful!

It's wonderful because "Love your neighbor as yourself" and "God hates fags" cannot coexist any longer. And yet, for so long, we have nutured and DESIRED such cohabitation. Talk about forcing our OWN AGENDA. OK, so maybe you don't subscribe to "God Hates Fags." Perhaps you are a "God hates the sin but loves the sinner" bonehead. I call such people boneheads NOT BECAUSE I DISAGREE with the fact that God hates sin and loves sinners, but because such Truth has NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT WHO'S "IN" and WHO'S "OUT" OF THE KINGDOM.

OK, fine! So God Hates sin!
OK, fine! So God loves sinners.

What have we proven? IF ANYTHING we only prove that each of us has HOPE! After all, are we not ALL SINNERS? Could it be that God is using the most "taboo" of issues to actually purge His church? Ask Jesus. He seemed to be pretty good at turning expectations of the Pharisees on their heads.

"Calling a duck a duck..."
Christians get real persnickity and downright MEAN when you catch them wallering in their mud pits. You call a duck a duck and you're bound to get the boot. You expose the cold, hard hypocracy that suggests one man's right to Christ's sacrifice and refuses it to another, and Christians get all worked up. We act like you don't understand us or something...but really, the anger is more closely connected to HOW VERY WELL YOU DO UNDERSTAND US. We get angry because we cannot explain ourselves. We cannot explain ourselves because we cannot deal with the outright shame that comes when the person in the lifeboat faces the fact that they WILLFULLY KICKED OUT ANOTHER, back into the icy waters, just because they were afraid those very others would sink the lifeboat itself.

"In our salvation...we are murderers."
Selfish. Pathetic. Shameful. That is what we are. Completely lacking faith in the salvation that Christ has given us. Believing it has limitations. Fearing that the boat cannot hold certain loads. Proclaiming that we understand what salvation is cabpable of withstanding and what it is not.

Where does such self-protecting rage come from?

SHAME.

And where does such awful shame come from?

FROM KNOWING ONE SIMPLE TRUTH:

That if we were the only soul left in the icy water, and the lifeboat was one seat short of having room for us...that Christ Himself would trade us places...in an INSTANT and without hesitation trade His seat for our frigid, watery grave... becuase He loves us THAT MUCH.

We on the other hand are in it for ourSELVES.

FILTHY.

DIRTY.

GREEDY.

HELL-BENT ON STAYING IN THE DAMNED BOAT!
BASTARDS, every one, but not for circumstance...

...WE ARE FATHERLESS BY CHOICE!



Now the Truth:

Salvation is not found on land,
where crowded lifeboats wash ashore.
Salvation is found only at the bottom of the sea.

"In So Many Words"

This sortof came up in response to other responses to "Why I'm not a Christian anymore..." and I just had to bring it up front.

I will be brief in making my point as I feel many words are not needed to sell this one. Here it is, in so many words:

In order to LIE, you MUST use words.
In order to LOVE, words are completely UNNECESSARY.

If you chew on that for a week or so, I think you will find...that's POWERFUL STUFF!

What is it with caves?

You've seen one, you've seen 'em all...
I think NOT. I mean, what is it with caves? I just love these things. Or maybe they're not things at all. I mean, after all, a hole is the one "thing" that just gets bigger the more you take away from it.

Music Video Musings...
It was in the early summer of 2003 when I (along with the most amazing rag-tag crew of professional and amateur filmmakers) set to the task of shooting four music videos over the course of one week. Considering that these were all "on location" (which simply means NOT in a studio) and spread across a map from southern Indiana to the middle of Michigan, it was quite a task that lay ahead. What this has to do with caves will now be revealed.

The First Day.
If you've ever directed anything before (be it a feature film or a school play) you understand both the significance and the frustrations that come with the first day. It's that time when the entire crew becomes acclimated to one another and (more importantly) to you. It is a day that often proves to be less than perfect in terms of peak efficiency. No one is able to predict the moves of another. Let's face it, you've only just met. So as a director, despite your overzealous hopes, there is certainly no grand expectation (if you're any good). You kindof leave room for failure. Of course, failure rarely happens in the truest sense of the term. Instead, the sun will usually set on a first day, leaving you with a good sense of pace and a real handle on the type of crew that you have.

Start taking notes...NOW
As a director, I think that it's very important to develop your own style. I didn't say "create" your own style. I truly mean "develop" it. That is to say, it's already there. It is everything that makes you YOU. To be any good, you really have to DISCOVER that and then try to GROW it. So one of the things I like to do is overload the first day. I mean, really heap it on. There are a few practical reasons for this really. First and foremost, it is a good way to flush the "ego pheasants" from the brush right up front. Seriously, if you can really put the heat on immediately, you will get a good handle on the sort of people you have on your team. Are they tough? Do they break easily? How committed to this PARTICULAR PROJECT are they? (Remember, just 'cause Leroy was an ace on your last shoot, doesn't necessarily mean he will be of any worth on this shoot. Leroy is a dynamic and complex person just like you are. Maybe his dog just died. So get off his back already! Geeesh!) Anyway, another reason that such "heaping" or "front-loading" is effective is that you effectively make the back end of your shoot that much easier to handle. Remember, you've got a WEEK or a MONTH or THREE MONTHS of shooting ahead of you. As you near the end of that, people will be tired. Try to save some of the fun for last. Put some real work up front.

Weren't we talking about CAVES?!
Ah yes. Thank you. So, the first day of this one-week video shoot was spent filming in a cave in southern Indiana. What's more, the plan called for using a cammate (translation: camera crane consisting of giant crates, pedestal, and hundreds of pounds of dead weight), all of which had to be carried by hand into the belly of a nearly-pitch black cave. So at one point, while all of the AMAZING crew was lugging this beast into the belly of Marengo Cave, I found myself walking alongside Randy Shreve (drummer for the band). In his mid-twenties, he was in awe. As it happens, brother Randy had never been in a cave before!

Bless my soul...
Watching his childlike immersion unfold before my very eyes was truly a thing of beauty. I mean that. It was beautiful. This guy with a muscle shirt and a mohawk was immediately and perfectly made innocent and young again. Who he was became forgotten as he was made blissfully aware of who he wasn't. It made me think back to all of those caves and tunnels I walked in alongside my father when I was young. I grew steadily aware that not every kid gets to do that. It made me appreciate where I have been or rather (since a HOLE is more of nothing than it is of something) where I have NOT been. And then I started thinking about those naysayers. The "you've seen one, you've seen 'em all" folks. And I FINALLY put it together.

What I love MOST about caves...
It's not the mineral formations or the bats or the dripping water. It's certainly not the cheesy tour scripts delivered at the hands of a less than Shakespearian orator. It's not even when they flip the switch and cultivate within you a new found appreciation for light. Though all of those things are certainly part of the McCaving experience, they are NOT where the magic lies. And while there is a real sense of awe and wonderment that comes from a cave, perhaps even a haunted sense that we are not alone...buried in the overhead signatures and torch stains from a bygone era...that's not the beauty either. The real beauty for me, the real wonder, the real magic...what I love MOST about caves...is my father. I love you dad. I love those trips into the belly of nothingness that we've taken. We've been there and back so very many times. And though I suppose the formations and reflecting pools tend to get monotonous to the untrained eye, each holds a powerful and priceless memory for me. Thank you SO MUCH dad for the guilty pleasure that is caving. And while I'm at it, thanks to my creator as well. The artist who made art itself. Less really can be more. Nicely done!

You've seen one you've seen 'em all?
Nonsense. That's my dad you're talking about!

A few links:
Marengo Caves
GSMegaphone Website
My Dad

Not Enough Time!

Am I the only one?

So I wake up in the middle of the night and just feel like I have to do SOMETHING. Anything really. It's nearly 4am as I begin this blog. Sleep (as much as I love it) is more of a burden than a blessing in my life. (My wife might be shocked to hear me say that. It seems like I try to squeeze in a nap any chance I get.) But sleep is when I'm not achieving. It's when I am forced to shelve productivity and embrace complete and total worthlessness. Despite all of the crap that I have done wrong in my lifetime, I feel like I will do more apologizing for sleep when I am made to "give an account" for my life. And the strange thing is...this is NORMAL for me.

As I sit here, I feel the heavy frustration that follows me EVERY DAY of my life. There's just so much to do and not enough time.

Not to wax dorky, but I have had this incessant sense of destiny scratching at the back of my brain now for most of my life. Seriously, it's kindof like the beef stew I had for dinner last night. It affects me. It hangs there. The taste of my purpose is so very obvious to me.

It's to the point that it nags me. But then, I guess that's why it's called destiny.